shit my mom tweets

Twitter. A couple of years ago, my mother wouldn't have stepped foot near it. Now she is obsessed with it! I can't go on the twitter home page anymore because there's usually four or five tweets (all from my mom), and two or three of these are yet another picture of my dogs. Oh, the hilarity doesn't end there. She then proceeds to paste comments for each picture, such as "Mitzi, Mandy and Molly are lazy right now", as if she really understands the dynamics of our dogs and feels they're necessary to share with the world. I swear, the dogs change position on the couch and she snaps a picture to commemorate the moment. And the best part is that when she snaps a pic, it's on her blackberry. Every freaking thing she ever does is captured on the blackberry, even when I have the nice Canon sitting right next to her. "Well the blackberry is easier and I can understand it" is really Jo-code for "I'm trying to put this on twitter". 

The absolute worst part? My mom has ten times the amount of followers that I do! Everyone apparently wants to read about the 20 big plays of the Indians game, or the line by line presentation of something happening at the Statehouse. I don't understand it! 

I guess the two best things about having my Mom on twitter is that at least one person responds to my tweets (my mom is usually the only person to @sarahingles) and I get more followers because people see she replied to me. People friend me because they know I am her daughter. Eh, I'll take it.

So, in honor of my technologically-savy mother, I have copied a few of my favorite tweets from her. Enjoy! 

(...for those of you less technologically-savy, click "Read More")

mom: Taking more resveratrol with some wine tonight. It might be coincidence but I did the same last night and got a good night's sleep.

...hugs not drugs Mom

mom: 6 lanes at a standstill on 270 west bound between 71 and 23. Avoid it...unless you like sitting in traffic

I knew you were a reporter, but I didn't know you were a traffic reporter. Now get off your phone while driving!

mom: That low cal Fiber One bar I had for breakfast isn't holding me over. I'm going to grab lunch soon.

...well thank God I know that! Wouldn't have lived without that one. 

mom: Back in the 43065 and needing to soak up more sun/heat

Mom, that's the area code to Powell, OH. Nobody knows that besides the people from Powell. It's not Beverly Hills... we don't do zip code slang.

mom: Lucky for us, Sarah didn't have a date tonight. So Rog, Sarah and I are going to see "Midnight in Paris".

Thanks for letting all 1,201 people that follow you know that I don't have a date, Mom.

mom: If you are going to Red, White and Boom, consider leaving your dog at home. Crowds+hot wx+loud noises=uncomfortable pooches in most cases

...my Mom, the dog police.

and my favorite!!!!!

mom: Oh, and incidentally, that breast milk incident happened just down the road from me. Powell has its share of freak too.

1 comment:

  1. lol lol lol soooo funny. I love your mom's tweets!